"What If Jurassic World Was Good"
"Keeper of Stories, King of Tales"
"Train: History's Greatest Villains?"
"How to be Krishna 1"
"How to be Krishna 2"
"How to be Krishna 3"
"How to be Krishna 4"
"I Hate The Disney Vault"
"Amazon Is Crazy"

How to be Krishna, Part 4: Dance Moves

So, you want to be like the Krishna. Completely understandable, most people do. But listen up, rookie: if you think that all it takes is growing some sideburns and combing your hair into a pompadour, you're in for a rude awakening. There is so much more to it than that. But don't sweat it. The K-Man himself is here to help.
Now, you're probably wondering right now, "Can I really learn to be like Krishna?" Well, yes and no. Some things can't be taught or acquired. You can't take a course in the Krishna Mystique. You can't buy a box of "K-Man brand Je Ne Sais Quoi" at the store. But some elements can be replicated, and in this on going series, I'll clue in on some of them. The fourth lesson is Krishna's amazing dance moves.
Dance Moves
One of my favorite philosophers* once asked "How you gonna do it if you really don't want to dance?" I can't help but think he was predicting your quest to be more like me. How indeed? As a personal favor to you (you now are forever in my debt, as if you weren't already), I have cataloged a few here.
Although it's called The New Boogie, this move is now old enough to hang out in bars. My cousin Shyam and I collaborated on this move many years ago. Point outwards with both hands and kick out with alternating feet, like so:
This next move was inspired by Michael Jackson While watching multiple Michaels walking onto the screen leaning back, I couldn't help thinking "That looks easier than remaining upright." It is. I threw in some leaning forward for variety. Observe:
Here's one I picked up from "Family Matters". Harriet had just been elected the head of the neighborhood watch, which hurt Carl's feelings. While creating a scenario with a hypothetical street tough, he repeatedly asked "Whatcha gonna do?" while moving his head from side to side. AKA, the Question Walk:
This next move was developed on my first ever trip to Vegas. If you ever meet my cousin Kartik, he loves this dance and you should definitely do it around him. I present to you, all the way from Fabulous Las Vegas, the Jaunty Walk!
Speaking of dances developed on vacation, here's one from my trip to New Orleans. I don't really know how to describe it:
If you have a bit of space, a fun move is the "Pulling On Boots". Careful not to kick anyone, unless they deserve it.
You may be expecting the pants-dance, a dance invented by a college roommate of mine that was eventually gifted to me for the frequency and vigor with which I busted it out. Well, as you can see, I'm wearing basketball shorts and the pants dance is greatly aided by belt loops. You've probably seen it in real life anyhow. Anyway, practice hard guys, and next time you're out on the floor, people will be like "Wow. Those moves... so Krishna-esque!" Have fun.


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